Tidbits

Here are some of the small things that have happened lately or things that I feel like mentioning, but none is individually important enough to write about.

- On Thanksgiving (I had to teach) I made a girl cry. There were a few minutes at the end of a class and in order to fill it, I told about the tradition, that I dislike soooo much, of telling things we are thankful for around the thankgsgiving table. Well, I went around the room and asked people what they are thankful for, and decided to call on a girl because I knew her name. The trouble is that I could not see her because of another girl's enormous head. Well, it seems that she wasn't very thankful for my last-minute time-filling activity and was in tears. I tried to save the situation, but luckily for me, and E_______, the bell rang. I tried to speak with her after class, but she didn't really want to say much. Go figure.

- I decided to teach "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" to classes that didn't have Muslims or Jews or Atheists or... My reasoning, really, for teaching the story was to teach the word "grinch" and because I couldn't think of anything else to do and a friend suggested it. Well I asked a class if everyone enjoyed Christmas or if there was anyone who didn't like Christmas. In most classes I took on the role of the grinch and complained about the holiday because everyone over here loves buying crap. Well in one class I asked this question and one girl raised her hand. "Do you like Christmas or do you not like Christmas?" I asked. "I don't like Christmas." "Why do you not like Christmas?" "My parents are divorced," she all but sobbed. I clearly didn't think this one through, eh?

- After three months of living in France, the French government decided to send me to a doctor to look at my lungs. The only doctor in the entire Rhone-Alpes region who can take an X-ray of my lungs is apparently in Lyon, an hour north of Valence.
The whole situation makes me feel guilty for eating meat... for a second.

I have never been pushed through so many small doors, processed and spit out quite like this doctor's visit. First they corner you and send you through a door, then they ask you questions and shove you through to be weighed. Then they stuff you in a 3x2 "room" and tell you to take of your shirt. They don't tell you to wait, but they don't tell you to come back out either, in fact they only tell you to take off your shirt. Just about the moment that you think, "did I not hear her say something more?" a door opens on the other end of the "room" and a woman leads you to an upright board in the middle of the room. Against this board she shoves you and you begin to think that you never want to be strip searched as I'm sure they, too, are not gentle. Then, once you've been pressed against this board, you realize that the woman has disappeard! "What? Where the heck did she go?" you may think until the board starts to shudder and you think that the machines around you will explode. Before the ringing in your ears stops, the woman yells at you to put your shirt on and closes you back into the box where your shirt is hanging. Well, wait a tick. What the hell just happened? and how many people's frozen nipples have touched that board today?

This is just a taste. There is also a doctor who treats you like shit because his job involves talking to immigrants with poor language skills. Then when he tries to make chitchat and you ask him a question about his suggestions. Well he doesn't actually know what he's talking about so he turns on you and is suddenly a little less gentle with the rest of the physical exam. Cough.

- When you don't have a phone, the students you tutor cannot easily call you and tell you they are not coming. You end up standing outside in the freezing rain for the polite 20 minutes before you can declare that a French person is a no-show.

- In Switzerland you can still smoke indoors, and it doesn't matter where. You want a coffee? Well you get second-hand smoke too! When in Geneva I second-hand smoked about three packs I would imagine. Cough.

- Food here is wonderful! For the Christmas holidays, the French eat fois gras. That means that the rest of the duck is really cheap! Duck is actually cheaper than chicken in December. The other evening Molly and I ate a delicious meal of duck breast with figs and garlic. It was like heaven!

- Molly made gingerbread cookies. Once we figured out that molasses is only available in healthfood stores and that baking soda is not kept anywhere near other baking ingrediants.

- Advent is a big thing in Germany. The third day of advent people celebrate with candles and cookies and vin chaud. Marie let us celebrate Dritter Advent with her and this made the holidays feel like they are approaching. The whole event was relaxing and really fit my need to lounge around in a home-y environment.

There are some of the little things that make up my life here. Some of the key moments that make me smile or feel like an asshole (sorry E_____!).

I hope your December is going well!
- Patrick